My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
