I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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