think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?