Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

How'd it feel making her break her religion?

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(937): View more from Ohio

Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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(443): View more from Maryland

he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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(805): View more from California

Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

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(607): View more from New York

you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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(775): View more from Nevada

She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes

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(470): View more from Georgia

I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?

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