It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He felt like a one man threesome
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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