Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize