i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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