What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
