Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
