420 ftw
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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