Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
