Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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