why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
