you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
