dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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