I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
