He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
