Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
