Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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