So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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