I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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