somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
