Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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