We won't sleep together?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
