Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
