he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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