Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
