He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
