Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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