i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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