Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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