"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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