Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
