Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
