I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
