bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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