she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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