he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
