They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
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So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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