Your face is a jimmy john
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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