the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
