your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sry I called you an 8
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
