i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
