I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
