Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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