So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
