You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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