I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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