I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We got so high we made milksteak
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
