The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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