I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
