I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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