I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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