Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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