Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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