My hand turned me down
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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