You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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