They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize