If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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