Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you made out with another girl for some wings
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
