Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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