hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
