so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
