i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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